With all the current news about the Christian group from Idaho being arrested in Haiti for transporting children without proper paper work, I am reminded of many years of my own thoughts about how we perceive children who need a “better” situation.
There is not a doubt in my mind these Christian believers truly thought they were doing these children a favor by providing better living situations for the children in their care. But I must ask, could they also not find a solution with the parent that remains alive to help in their care? I realize the entire Haiti situation is complex at best, but the whole current situation in Haiti does serve as a reminder for our need to rethink our mindset in these matters.
I am calling into question the whole adoption process and how we deal with these situations. It is my personal view; as long as there is a living, loving parent in the mix, we should be giving that parent every possible resource to care and nurture their own child. Of course, every situation is individually different and we must work every family situation on a case by case basis, but making any parent feel forced to give up their child to complete strangers to eventually be placed in another country for a “better life” is not reasonable to me. There is also something; to be said for keeping a child in their own environment with their own culture, but in a nurtured, loving way.
As parents of five children, had anyone persisted that I (we) were too poor to raise our children, it would have not been any worse than if someone were to rip my heart out to suggest we give our children up for adoption. As a mom, I was ready to throw myself in front of a moving vehicle in order to protect my child. Their safety and well-being was always my (our) first and top priority!
As for the missionaries, it would be much better to open an orphanage for those children who are left behind without either parent alive and then encourage the parent(s) who have children with dire situations of need to come on board as staff or staff helpers to give love and help to other children without a living parent. I truly think we need to be very careful about these matters! If you will do a word study by bringing up the website ~ www.Bible.com , type in the search box the word “fatherless” under King James Version, you will find immediate abuses cited in scripture of not handling family situations properly.
Thought to ponder,
Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Psalm 82:3
Judith
Life Series ~ P.O. Box 1671 ~ Murfreesboro, TN 37133 ~ lifeseries@comcast.net
FEEDBACK FROM THIS ARTICLE_____________________
"I believe that you stated the more appropriate solution. Sometimes, our cultural arrogance can be somewhat blinding. I am sure these people were well-intentioned. I wish that they could have been given better spiritual guidance."
A.N.
"I agree whole heartedly Judith! We have one such organization we support two children in other countries and this organization not only helps clothe and feed the child and educate them and gives them all of the medical help they need, they also educate the parents in how to be able to make more money and how to better care for their children.
One lady we saw while we were in Africa last August told us that she didn’t think her children would ever have a life because she has AIDS and she had no idea how to keep from passing it on to her children and she was so excited that Compassion had come in and taught her how to care for them and herself and gave her the medicine she needed and built her a little house to go along with her little huts so she could better care for her family.
Another lady showed us how they taught her to make laundry soap to sell to her friends and neighbors so she could buy food just in case her husband couldn’t find work that day so now they knew they could have dinner every day, so she went out and taught some of her friends too. Compassion focuses on helping the children but making sure the family and community benefit as well.
They even encourage the supporters of these children to go and visit them on a compassion trip. We were able to see all of the records they were keeping on the children in the compound where the children went to school. Compassion has 65,000 children that are supported by people around the world in Haiti and they are doing their best to help all of the families impacted by this earthquake. My husband worked with several other radio hosts on Feb. 1st to help raise money to help those in Haiti through Compassion.
We may not be able to go over there and physically help these children but there are people who live there that are doing their best to do so. We all can help by doing what we can from here by giving the whole family of each of those children a chance at a better life in Haiti!
If anyone is interested in checking out Compassion you can do so at www.compassion.com
God Bless,
Janet Scott
Executive Director and Assistant to Bill Scott
Xtreme Youth Alliance International"
"Thank you Judith, I have a cousin who is a missionary in Port Au Prince, Haiti to the orphaned babies that are sometimes found outside of hospitals and dumpsters. They are not in the business of finding adoptive parents for these babies but have an orphanage there in the city. Right now this facility was primarily unharmed by the earthquakes. However, the quake did destroy the protective wall that surrounds the buildings. My cousin who is a pilot has been busy flying missionaries and supplies to Haiti from the Florida Keys area and at last report had made 3 round trips.
Your testimony is very encouraging. It brought back a memory for me when I was a pregnant teen. Adoption was not a word my counselors or my father used; abortion was the only option I was given at that tender age, and I am ever grateful the Heavenly Father guarded my heart for that horrible situation.
As a Christian and adoptive mother, I know that God is in the adoption business, but we truly need to be seeking His will in every situation. Adoption is no exception. I have also seen adoptive situations where it was not healthy for the child, the adoptive parents, and/or the birth parents."
Lovingly, Margo
"Thank you for this issue. So often Christians think they shouldn't speak up. Thank you for standing up. I thought about what you said--and agree so much!!"
Mary Cox Pace
"Very well stated!"
Rachel Sharp
Retired from Child Protection Services
"You have great ignorance in what you are speaking about. I have worked with children who were orphaned, abandoned, abused, neglected and unloved even by their own parents and family members. Orphanages that are really permanent institutions for many are not healthy for any child. What a child needs is first to have their basic needs met food, clothing and shelter. Next they need love and personal contact and next the environment to thrive. If these people in fact believed that the children in Haiti did not have access to these basic needs and were trying to find a way to provide them then that is not wrong. No one has said that these children were ripped from parents arms. That is wrong. When a parent realizes that they are unable to provide for their child and seeks those who are willing and able to, it is the greatest love to place this child where it is loved and cared for." SB
My response~
"I have to respectfully disagree with the premise that it is better always to take an impoverished child away from a parent. I do not think that is what you think either for that matter. I am saying it is best; at the very least; to first explore an option for the child to stay with the parent. There are situations, of course, that a child should not be with a parent due to abuse; physical and emotional.
There was one loving parent that did give her child over to the Christian group from Idaho. That is where I take issue with the whole process! I am not speaking to those who are in situations that cannot be mended other than finding a loving family who will take them in. Our son and daughter-in-law are seriously looking into adoption under the right circumstances. Scripture talks about adoption under the right circumstances.
Another reader shared the great work that an organization called Compassion does with 65,000 children in Haiti. I have been searching their website and find it very interesting. www.compassion.com
With your work as you state in your e-mail~ “orphaned, abandoned, abused, neglected and unloved even by their own parents and family members.” I am certain you will find that Compassion gives an additional option for struggling families.
I do respect anyone who is working with these type situations. God knows, there are far too many broken families but it is a sad fact of life. My sincere best to you in your work."
Judith
"You're so right. I was on mission field in Thailand/India and when word got out that we were opening an orphanage; everyone dropped off/abandoning their kids for us to take "so they'd have a better life." It came nonstop so we had to turn all away and change the mission to a paid day care program. The kids had to live with parents and for a small fee they could become students and be taught and cared for from sunrise until sunset each day...they got the best of both worlds and so did we; my church still runs several like that and they are very successful. Just met one boy I met in Thailand daycare and he was at our church on Wed last week. He has become a missionary. He has the better of his 2 cultures with his identity in tact!"
Laurel
This is what I am talking about! Thanks Laurel for this information. What a great way to support struggling families! Judith
I totally agree with you. Very well put. I have never really thought about it like this.
Antonia
