Understand Your Personality

Have you ever wondered why people around you do some of the things they do?

You are not alone. Parents, pastors, scientists, teachers and doctors have been studying human personality and behaviours for thousands of years to figure out how to respond to the everyday things people do.

When you are in the daily process of those daily necessary actions to solve conflicts at home and/or work then you also need to take time to understand the personalities that surround you at home, work, and in your community. Personality, the most significant part of who you are, is important to understand because it allows you to respond intelligently to the everyday situations that occur in marriage, home, family, work, and community relationships.

As you search for ways to maintain more peace and fewer power struggles with people around you, we all need to learn how to understand the personalities that surround us.

Some may declare, “I was Born that Way- so deal with it!” While this may be a common reaction that some people use to justify their inappropriate behavior; it is still not an excuse. However, people really are born a certain way, designed by God for a purpose within their own unique individual personality. The remainder of your personality development comes from early childhood, school, and life experiences. Our own personal DNA makes us who we are; it it our own personal "road map" to our unique and original design by God. He created us all different. This fact can be really irritating and inconvenient to some but it is for His greater purpose and plans for each indiviual.

The goal is to find out why people around you do the things they do so you understand how to respond to achieve a greater result, and less frustrated in the process.

The study of personality types was at first categorized into 4 parts by Hippocrates, a Greek physician, hundreds of years before the time of Christ. He noticed there were distinct differences in people, and many other serious researchers have noticed the same.

Introverts
are the most common type of personality. These individuals are not necessarily shy, but they do prefer quiet. Introverts are energized by calm and peaceful settings, love being out in nature, enjoy the environment, soothing music or entertainment and the company of a few close friends or pets. Their emotional stability comes through these soothing experiences and are drained by large crowds and loud events, which is why they like to have their own "space" and do not like crowds. An introvert under stress will tend to hold their emotions inside until they literally erupt with tears or anger and then when the flood of emotions pass; hate they lost control of themselves.

Extroverted personalities
are not as common, but they make up for it with volume. They fill a room with their over sized personalities. Writer and Life Coach, Dwight Bain, "They are energized by loud events and lengthy experiences because they seem to never get enough and don’t want the day to end. Concerts, sports, parades, big cities, New Year parties, trade shows, theme parks, seminars; it doe not matter, because the louder and more crowded the better! Remember, they pull energy from the environment around them, which exhausts the introverts who probably were coaxed into going with them. Their emotional batteries are charged up by these loud experiences and can go on and on like the Energizer Bunny™ seemingly for days without sleep when doing something they enjoy. You usually don’t have to guess about what they are thinking, because they sometimes impulsively just ‘tell it like it is’, which can hurt feelings of sensitive personalities, while giving them relief to have dumped their emotions out for others to deal with."

The four most common personality traits follow:

The Two Extroverted Personality Types ~

Choleric
are the task oriented individuals who prefer to be out front in leadership positions. This high energy individual is driven, ambitious, and usually goal oriented toward the things that are important to them as a person. The Choleric person likes to lead and motivate others to accomplish their goals and can sometimes overpower others or step on their feelings. Leaders in politics, military, and business are often a Choleric personality, which is the smallest percentage of the 4 types, but by far the most aggressive. On a negative note, Choleric personalities can become easily angry or moody when things do not go their way and are not afraid to create a conflict to get people moving toward their own pre-conceived goals.

Sanguine
is a people oriented person who loves to have a good time, sometimes at the expense of others. They are very loud of the two extroverted personalities and are often talented with great verbal communication, which is why they love to be on stage entertaining others. Dwight Bain shares, "Sanguine personalities love to meet new people, but often forget their names the moment they meet them! Leaders in entertainment, comedy, media, drama, ministry, public speaking and music are often from this group. Rarely on time, the Sanguine personality can be impulsive, unmotivated and can come across as egotistical and self-absorbed but usually don’t really mean to hurt the feelings of others. They are just so busy in their world that they forget there are 7 billion other people on the planet too. In the Bible the Apostle Peter is most like the popular Sanguine personality."

The Two Introverted Personality Types~

Phlegmatic
is a people oriented person who likes to work at their own pace and not be pressured. They absolutely hate conflict and will do just about anything, even to compromising their own desires and who they are as a person to get along with others. This is the largest personality group. More than half of the people you meet are likely to be Phlegmatic. They may have great ideas, but are sometimes too shy or embarrassed to step out and voice them, much to the frustration of the people who can see past their lack of confidence to spot their real potential.

Mr. Bain says, "The Phlegmatic have a few close family or friends and like to spend all of their time with the people they already know, so they don’t venture out very far to make new acquaintances. The loss of a friend from a move or breakup can be so devastating to a Phlegmatic because they are not usually comfortable going out to meet strangers. They are stable people and liked by those who associate with them. They can have great success in management, administration, nursing or education. They are most loyal of the 4 personalities; they are also the most sensitive. They are gentle and compassionate individuals with big hearts. They quickly spot the needs of others, but can easily get their own feelings hurt because of this overly sensitive side. They don’t like change and love to keep life predictable; which is why they work so hard to keep things stable in their family, school or work situation. The Phlegmatic is conscious of details which is why they are considered by many to be perfectionists; but only at the things which are important to them. They are often the most creative of the 4 personality types, both in the arts or in solving complex problems. This personality type is likely to be so quiet that they don’t reach out to make a lot of friends, but can be gentle and compassionate when you take time to get to know them. They think far more than talk, so when they voice their opinion they usually have a lot to say."

Melancholy
traits may cause a person to go back into what some people call their introverted ‘cave’ because, Mr. Bain explains, "they often would prefer to spend time with their own thoughts than spending time with others. They can be moody from suppressing so many emotions, which can come across as depressive, sullen, temperamental or critical. There are many careers where this personality can excel, because many authors, musicians, accountants, scientists and researchers have this trait. Perfect Melancholic’s are always driven to do things right."

Your personality is a basic element inside you and there are factors we all need to consider when searching for our best approach to respond and achieve better results at home, work, and the community. Birth-order, age, gender, family background, life experiences and education can heavily influence our behavior.

Additional reading~
Personality Plus- by Florence Littauer
Discovering your child design- by Ralph Mattson & Thom Black
Raising Children on Purpose- by Wesley H. Fleming
The Two Sides of Love- by Gary Smalley and John TrentPlus
“The Treasure Tree” - by Gary Smalley & John Trent to help kids understand their unique strengths.

You have great value in the sight of God and can be a whole person in all your relationships.


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